Crystal’s Corner: Hands on Parenting
Written by: Crystal
“Hands on Parenting is, hands down, one of the hardest parenting styles out there. Not only do you know that your children are going to disappoint you, you are right there by their side and know it as soon as it happens. You know it’s coming, yet you can’t do anything to stop it. Not all children require this parenting style, but there is a definite need in some kids’ lives for this kind of strict parenting. Hands on Parenting is simple. It simply refers to getting right into the middle of your child’s “business”. This is not an easy place to be for either party, but it can serve as a reminder to the child of who’s in charge and that they can’t get away with things other kids can.
I started this parenting style early on with my children and have been consistent with pretty good results. One of my children still pushes the envelope and does things knowing that I’m going to find out. She pushes me to see how far she can go. It’s almost like it’s a game with her. I have another child that would literally fall apart at the seams if they didn’t have someone to keep them in line at all times. This child thrives on structure and rules. Each child is different and has different needs. But I’ve found that this parenting style, when it’s flexible, can fit lots of children comfortably. Starting around 6 years old, children begin to want to leave their parents and spend more time with their peers. Sleepovers, summer camp, etc. are popular activities. This is great because children are learning who they are outside of their parents. It can be frustrating, though, when those sweet, lovable children become completely independent beings who think they know more than their parents on every topic known to man!
While it’s crucial for children to make their own mistakes, it’s equally important that their parents be right on their tails making sure that they’re not getting into any real danger. While some children are content sitting at home with mom and dad, others are more relaxed with their peers. As long as they are in a safe, controlled environment, that can be a good social time for them. However, it’s too easy for children/teens to get free time that is unsupervised. This can very quickly and easily turn into a dangerous situation that their little minds cannot comprehend. How I utilize Hands on Parenting of my children is that I check their phones for text messages, phone calls, etc. My children are not allowed to delete any text messages and if caught doing so, those are grounds for the phone to be taken away immediately. I also check and double check when they’re spending the night, or when they want someone to spend the night.
It’s more work on me, but I don’t trust children because they are just that…children. I also frequently look on Facebook. I am not only required to be a friend on their page, but I also require their password and full access or it will be deleted and removed. I also have random people I know put my children’s names in the search engine periodically to make sure that they don’t have any secret pages that I don’t know about and have been blocked from.
Email works the same way as Facebook. I know, to some people, it may seem like I’m a “Helicopter mom”, but my children’s happiness and safety outweighs my own personal ease. My parenting method may be more time consuming, but at least I know where my kids are and if they are safe. Are you a Hands on Parent? If so, how far do you take it? If not, what Parenting method do you employ with your children?”